


Coward

by Ghost_Writing



Series: It Started With Cadet Training [1]
Category: Shingeki no Kyojin | Attack on Titan
Genre: Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Alternate Universe - Everyone Lives/Nobody Dies, Erwin Smith is Smart, Eventual Relationships, Eventual Romance, Gen, Gender-Neutral Hange Zoë, Gender-Neutral Pronouns, Grumpy Levi (Shingeki no Kyojin), Military Training, No Smut, No Smut because they're kids, Nobody is Dead, Nonbinary Hange Zoë, Not Beta Read, Not Canon Compliant, Pre-Canon, Pre-Relationship, Pre-War, Reader Is A Captain, Reader is a cadet, Scout Regiment, Scout Training, Series, Slow Burn, Training, eventual polyamory
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-02-03
Updated: 2021-02-03
Packaged: 2021-03-14 14:40:56
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,414
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/29172801
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Ghost_Writing/pseuds/Ghost_Writing
Summary: There were exactly three bunk beds in the bunk. Apparently, whoever else was meant to be here dropped out before even finishing the entrance ceremony.“Coward,” you grumble, chucking your bag at the bunk closest to the door.You're a new recruit, training to become a survey corp, when you're assigned to be the captain of your bunkmates turned squad with another boy named Levi.
Relationships: Erwin Smith & Original Character(s), Erwin Smith & Reader, Levi & Reader, Levi Ackerman & Erwin Smith & Mike Zacharias & Hange Zoë, Levi Ackerman & Erwin Smith & Mike Zacharias & Hange Zoë & Original Character(s), Levi Ackerman & Erwin Smith & Mike Zacharias & Hange Zoë & Reader, Levi Ackerman/Erwin Smith/Mike Zacharias/Hange Zoë/Original Character(s), Levi Ackerman/Erwin Smith/Mike Zacharias/Hange Zoë/Reader, Mike Zacharias & Hange Zoë
Series: It Started With Cadet Training [1]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/2141619
Kudos: 48





	Coward

You stood in the lineup, fresh meat for the military to train and mould into a new soldier. Countless other teenagers stood around you, all of them at attention as the man on the stage bolted out a massive lecture about performance and acceptance. You’d heard it already, it was all summarized in the pamphlet you’d read that decided your fate.

Next to you stands a rather grumpy looking boy, glaring at the commander from behind jagged black bangs. Compared to you, he wasn’t all that short, however, compared to even the teen standing next to him (red-haired with a mischievous look behind their glasses) he looked absolutely tiny.

You snapped back to attention when the commander shouted something out to the group, declaring he was going to assign bunks. You prayed it was unisex, something about sharing bunks with everyone made it easier to blend in. You weren’t here to make friends, you were here to make history.

“-Bunk number five is Levi Ackerman, Erwin Smith, Hange Zoe, Mike Zacharius, and (Y/N)!” the commander declared. Out of the corner of your eye, you caught the red-haired teen smiling up at- good gods that man is huge- a massive lumbering blond man who gave them a thumbs up in response. 

Oh pray for your soul, you were bunking with them.

Reaching up, you shift your goggles on the top of your head. They were a gift from your parents before they went missing in the line of duty. You’d grown up in a very military-police-centred household, however, something about the scout regiment had always drawn you in. That is what you stood here for, to become the next commander- or at least a captain- in the scout regiment. To see the outside world. 

These goggles were merely a reminder of that fact. Of the fact to not get too attached. Very few people joined the scout regiment due to its dangers. It was highly unlikely you would see more than three people in this crowd again, let alone anyone who dared to befriend you.

“Dismissed! Breakfast is at five sharp! Don’t be late!” the Commander ordered, and slowly people began to trickle out of the gathering area with their bags towards their bunks.

You picked up your duffle bag and marched yourself over to bunk five. Much to your surprise, you were followed by the loud chattering of the red-head and the blond. With a huffed sigh, you push open the door to your new home.

There were exactly three bunk beds in the bunk. Apparently, whoever else was meant to be here dropped out before even finishing the entrance ceremony. 

“Coward,” you grumble, chucking your bag at the bunk closest to the door. You rummage through the bag to find your blankets, knowing how cold it’ll get thanks to your parents’ experience. 

“Pardon?” someone asks above you, forcing you to look up with wide eyes at the towering blond man above you. He’s not the one you saw earlier talking with the red-head. Which means there are two of them.  
“Titans save me, they’re multiplying,” you grumble, looking back down to your luggage rather than up at the hunk of man above you. You weren’t here to make friends, not even with your bunkmates- even if your bunkmates made your collar feel hot and bothered.

“You keep mumbling like that and we’ll think you’re just like shorty over here,” the other blond calls from across the room, causing you to shoot a glare behind yourself as he thumbs at the stalky, black-haired boy that had been next to you during the ceremony. 

Great, he’s here too. That’s what you wished you could say, instead you grabbed your towel and cleaning supplies out of the bag and stalked to the door.

“Think whatever you’d like, I won’t be here for long,” you scoff, stepping out into the night and heading over to the showers.

The next few months were going to be hell on Earth.

Unfortunately for you, you were followed by three puppy dogs and a cat they dragged along. You found yourself standing next to the same blond who was bunked above you. You huffed and stripped down to your skin, setting your goggles on top of your neatly folded clothes as you stepped under the showers. Apparently, they were unisex showers as both the red-head and the three boys were in here, as well as a handful of others.

You were leaning back, dosing water through your hair when a voice cut into your thoughts. Not that no one was talking, but simply because you’d been ignoring the rest of the world and the voice of the boy next to you grabbed you out of your happy little bubble.

“You’re (Y/N), right?” he asks, causing you to glare over at him. He’s got soap in his hair, a broad smile across his lips.

You simply glare at him in response before grabbing your own shampoo.

“I’m Erwin Smith, you probably heard that at the ceremony though,” he continues to ramble on, the smile remaining even as you ignore him and wash your hair.

He stands next to you the whole time, washing as he talks about the different rules that have been put in place and how he is definitely going to join the scouts. You feel the anger bubble up as you towel off and he continues. He’s still going by the time you’re dressed, and before exiting you shoot him a glare.

“If you talk half as much on the field as you did just now, we’d all be dead,” you snap, turning on your heel and walking back off towards your bunk.

You must’ve left him floundering because the four of them take their sweet time in returning- well three of them. The fourth, the raven-haired boy, returns not long after you. He’s quiet, simply glancing in your direction and giving you a curt nod. At least someone here knew how to stay alive.

You’re drifting off to sleep as the door swings open, the three of them crashing back in with loud chatter between the tallest blond and the red-head. Before you can tell them to shut it, the other boy sits up and glares at them for you.

“People are trying to sleep here, brats,” he hisses, silencing the three of them immediately. 

There’s a collective apology as they scurry to get into their beds. Finally awarding you peace and quiet as you doze off to sleep.

* * *

Breakfast isn’t any different sadly. You wake up with enough time to force yourself into your day clothes, goggles around your head and boots strapped to your legs, just as everyone else is getting up. Apart from the same raven-haired boy who is dressed as well.

He glances at you from across the room and you simply shrug at him. The two of you silently agree to get up and head to the mess-hall. Not friendship, simply mutual hatred towards your bunkmates.

The two of you are granted a moment of quiet away from the trio as you grab your breakfast and settle down at an empty table. Either both of you were too polite to say anything, or you were both okay with sitting together. In any case, your brief moment of peace was broken due to the arrival of three very hormone-fueled teenagers slamming their trays down on the table and catching both of you with soup splatters.

“Must you three be so loud?!” both you and Levi snapped at the trio as they started to shout at each other and laugh.

“Must you two be so grumpy?” not-Erwin retorted, earning you and Levi sliding away on the bench.

“Oh come on you two, don’t be like that. It was only soup,” the red-head pleaded.

“You were wasting food,” the raven-haired boy snapped.

“It’s just soup, it isn’t even that good,” they whined back.

“It’s the only food you’re getting until dinner, so you better shut your yaps as those two say or you’ll starve till tomorrow,” the Commander growled, slamming his hands down on the table.

You hadn’t realized how close you were sitting to the makeshift stage until the commander stalked off towards the front of the room and cupped his hands to his mouth.

“Listen up brats, like always we’re training new recruits differently to see what works! Your bunks are small on purpose, to recreate the feeling of squadrons! I will be appointing someone from each bunk captain, starting with bunk one…!” he shouts, your attention focusing on him as he goes down the list, rattling off names that you don’t know or care about until he gets to your bunk- 

“I didn’t come here to make friends,” the raven-haired boy grumbled as he chewed on the stale bread.

“Neither did I…” you agree, glaring at the wood behind the commander’s head.

He must’ve heard this because he makes eye contact with you, staring you down, “-Bunk five, (Y/N) and Levi Ackerman, since you two seem to be undermining my authority! Remember working as squadrons is what secures our military’s lives. Flunk out if you don’t think that it’s necessary!” he continues on after the brief lecture, leaving you red-faced and staring down at the table.

“You’re Levi I take it?” you mutter, glancing up at the boy.

“You’re (Y/N), though Erwin made that clear already,” Levi quips, glaring back over at the other three who now looked at you two expectantly.

“Co-captains, of these three? If they’re as useless at using ODM gear as they are at staying quiet, it’ll be like babysitting toddlers,” you groaned, pinching the bridge of your nose.

“Now, your responsibilities as Captains are ever-growing, but simple points you’ll be judged on will be ‘getting to the mess hall with your squad on time’, ‘having all your tasks done on time’, ‘making sure hygiene is kept in your squad’, and the most important one, teamwork. Without teamwork, you will be dropped before you can reach recruitment,” the Commander finishes, “Do I make myself clear?”

You all rise from your benches, standing at salute.  
“SIR YES SIR!”

“Good! Now everyone twenty laps! You don’t get to rest until the final person in your squad has finished!” he orders, circling his hand.

Dozens of teenagers file out of the mess-hall, putting their trays and bowls in the same stack, as you all start into a dead sprint. The one good thing about your bunk-mates/squad behaving like puppy-dogs is that they follow closely behind you and Levi.

* * *

It was a week since you were forced into the same squadron as a captain with Levi. During that week the two of you had agreed to judge the skills of the group before deciding what to work on and strategies.

However you were pleasantly surprised when Sunday morning came and during lunch, Erwin leaned down to whisper a strategy to the group.

“Alright, so I have an idea. The Commander didn’t technically say how we complete our laps- so since Hange is always slowing us down, what if Mike carries them?” he proposes, earning a glare from Levi and piquing your curiosity.

“What if we’re punished for disobeying the Commander?” you ask before Levi can.

“That’s the beauty, he can’t punish us. In the field, if we had to escape from a titan, slower or more injured squad members would be assisted by faster ones so we could all escape. We’re just preparing Mike to be our paramedic.”

The brilliance of Erwin’s plan struck you across the face as you sat there and blinked for a few seconds before turning to Levi.

“He does have a point. We could finish in the first place.”

All Levi offered was a simple nod as he returned to the tea that Erwin had handed him when the five of you had originally sat down. You understood now, it was bribery.

When the Commander shouted for “your sorry asses to start running” your group took off as normal. All according to a plan the five of you had come up during breakfast. You told yourself working together with your “squad” wasn’t making friends, it was making allies so you could graduate. Part of you believed it. Good enough.

On the tenth lap, Hange started to lag behind. Noticing this, you stuck out two fingers at your side, signalling Mike to pick her up. He did flawlessly, having her mount his back as he kept pace with the rest of you who’d slowed down briefly to give him enough time to do so. 

When another squad noticed you’d slowed down, the captain stuck their tongue out at you and passed you quickly. You returned the gesture moments later when you sped past with your squad. They watched, mouth agape, as you sped to the end of your laps, able to keep pace with Hange secured. 

You actually managed to finish in the first place, your whole team cheering apart from you and Levi, who caught your breath and prepared for the worst as the Commander marched over towards you.

“Captain Levi, Captain (Y/N)!” he shouted, stopping in front of you, giving you just enough time to stand up straight in a salute.

“Sir!” you and Levi say in unison. 

“Never in my years of teaching have I seen such a reckless and daring move, during laps,” the Commander barked, your heart hammering in your chest as you prepared for the worst- “That was a brilliant act of strategy, perhaps I was wrong when I thought you hadn’t been paying attention during my instructions! Move your asses to the ODM equipment, you get to gear up first today!”

You stood there wide-eyed for a split second before nodding your head-  
“Sir, yes sir! Thank you!”

“Dismissed!” he orders, and you scramble off with Levi, corralling your still celebrating squad towards the ODM training grounds.

Where Hange proved useless during laps, they made up for it with their skill in ODM gear. They were a true spectacle as you and your squad managed to stay completely upright the entire time the Commander stared you down.

The Commander didn’t stop you from carrying Hange in further assignments and eventually she was able to keep pace with the rest of you. 

That night when you got back to your bunks, fully showered and ready for bed, you stopped your squad.

“Erwin, you risked our necks today. What else do you have rolling around up there?” you asked, an impressed smile as Levi stood next to you, glaring less than usual.

“Well, for ODM training I was thinking…” Erwin started, pulling out more than a few battle strategies are crudely drawn across the middle pages of books that he had throughout his room.

Your squad spent the night working through strategies and memorizing hand signals you and Levi could give silently, as well as code words if they needed to communicate anything later on.

At the end of the night, even Levi went to bed with a slight smile as you began to realize you could use this “team” thing to your advantage. With hand signals and code words, anything as possible.

* * *

Two days later, you received the opportunity to put into place your first strategy. Mike twisted his ankle during laps, lagging behind severely. A quick flick of the wrist signalled Erwin and Hange to flank his sides, Erwin acting as a second leg for him. You sped through the course, Mike gritting his teeth as you were forced to dodge obstacles now since the Commander deemed you ready to start the real training.

“Half-way to the end, Mike can you make it?” you asked, not even glancing back because a moment’s loss of focus could lead to a hole in your formation.

“Don’t worry about me Captains, just focus on getting there!” he shouted back to you, with a quick okay sign thrown over your shoulder you booked it with Levi to the end. 

You actually managed second place, as your squad kept on your heels, Erwin having tossed Mike over his back and booked it after you. You grinned at the Commander who nodded his head to the medical center to patch up Mike.  
Though your ranks were down by one, you still managed to get through the next few obstacle courses easily. With Levi’s tiny body, Erwin tossed him up to the top of the courses to toss down the ropes that simulated ODM equipment. The four of you spend through the course as Mike watched from the sidelines.

Mike had to heal for three more days after that, all he was allowed by the Commander. It affected your performance slightly the first day, however with Erwin’s quick adaptations to your formations and plans, you were easily able to incorporate the crippled Mike in your exercises.

Having him at the end of the courses ready with water, or the middle to toss you ODM gear. He was there to grab Hange from Erwin as you finished your laps, and made sure that any extra chores that had to be done were complete by the time you finished your exercises.

“Commander’s cleared me to participate today,” Mike stated triumphantly as he sat down next to you at the table.

“Good, we need you back in the formation,” Levi acknowledges, quickly eating up his rice.

“Going to miss those quick water breaks though,” Hange groans from her end of the table.

“Do you want someone else to be injured?” you hum from where you’re currently nearly done your meal.

“No Captain!” they quickly blurted, sitting up straight.

“Relax, (Y/N) will do just fine,” you mutter before you even catch yourself. How long had it been since you’d become so comfortable with the four of them that you’d let yourself be called (Y/N) rather than captain? 

What really brought the oddity of your words to your attention was how everyone was staring at you now. Mike’s mouth was open, showing just a bit of food, Hange looked as if you’d told them you’d just kissed their sister, Erwin’s ridiculous eyebrows far higher on his forehead than normal, and Levi with his usual Levi-like glare.

“Don’t look at me like that or I’ll take it back,” you grunt, there was no sense in backing down now anyway. They were your squad, squads could call each other by first names and still not be friends… right?

Yet the damage had already been done as they didn’t exactly see eye to eye with you about simply being professional. Hange and Mike started to actually include you in their group discussions you had managed to avoid until then. Erwin would tell you goodnight rather than see you in the morning, Captain. Levi would- well he didn’t change much, apart from always accidentally bringing two cups of tea to the table. 

Thankfully your strategies only increased in integrity after that. Erwin and Mike didn’t need your signal to launch you or Levi up to the top of the obstacle courses, and Hange managed to keep pace with you and Levi most times during laps. Even when they increased.  
Then the Commander gave you blades to train with. It was both his biggest mistake and his greatest idea. The mistake part came from how many of the cadets cut themselves and others during training, the greatness came from how well your squad functioned in a titan killing obstacles.

The strategy was simple, Erwin would quickly make sure what would work in the particular obstacle course, signal you the signs necessary, and you’d relay them to the squad in commands as you took down obstacle after obstacle. Hange was the quickest to hit weak spots, while Mike and Erwin’s brute-forced the dummies into submission. Just as they were overwhelmed, you and Levi came out of nowhere, slicing through the nape.

On multiple titan courses, you spread out, just enough to hear each other, a strategy the other squads didn’t take into account as many of them were declared fake-dead from simple mistakes. Within earshot, you were easily able to tell Erwin to duck right rather than watch him go left into a titan he didn’t see.

Little did you know, by the end of the week, your squad was the talk of the Commanders. Your Commander had brought in the current Survey Corps, Military police, and the Garrison Regiment Commanders. All of which had been watching your squad for the final week of your training as you worked flawlessly together.

On the final night, before you were summoned to the courtyard, you sat in your bunks, looking at each other. It was a still silence that no one knew how to clear.

“Who did you call a coward on our first day?” Erwin asked from above you, startling you as you blinked rapidly. You hadn’t even realized he remembered that.

“The person who should’ve been in the bunk above Captain Levi,” you reply, nodding your head to the empty bunk.

He nods slowly, looking over, then back down at you.  
“I thought you meant one of us.”

“You’re still here so I have no reason to call you cowards,” you shrug.

He nods his head as the room fills with silence once again. Tense silence as an unasked question hangs in the air. You can see it on their faces. Why were you here? You’d heard them whisper a few times at meals, or hint to it in questions to you. Yet you’d never answered. You figured now was as good as any time, when you really need to rally them.

“Survey Corps.” The only words that left your mouth.

“What?” Hange asked, furrowing her brow as she looked down from her bunk.

“Frankly, we have talents. Between your fascination with titans, Erwin’s strategy, Levi’s impressive rage, and Mike’s positive attitude that keeps us from going under, we’d be wasted within the walls. I know we got off to a rough start, but… I can’t imagine being part of a division where I’m not with you four,” you grumble out the last part, less confident than the first. Somehow, your resolve of having no friends managed to shatter as you let these idiots into your life.

You feel your pride slowly replacing itself with shame for being so brash with your words. You open your mouth to take them back when your entire body is engulfed in burly arms. Blinking, you barely register Mike’s voice.

“Thank you, (Y/N), for being our Captain. Same with you Levi. I wouldn’t change anything for all the meat in the world,” he whispers, hugging you tightly.

Small tears well up in the corners of your eyes as you sniffle, trying to push him off you.

“Get off me you big lug, before I take it back,” you try and convince him, giving him a light shove. This action is only rewarded by Hange coming down to join in the hug, and Erwin dragging over Levi, forcing him into the hug too.

“You two make great Captains. The Survey Corps won’t know what hit them until we’re already at the top,” Erwin declares.

“And how will we do that? Another one of your flawless plans?” Levi quips, the usual edge to his voice having long since been gone and replaced with a teasing tone when around just the squad.

“Perhaps, or perhaps just your skill,” Erwin chuckles as there’s a knock on the door telling you it was time.

With a deep breath, you straightened up, giving Levi a nod as the two of you lead your squad to the courtyard. You were the first to arrive, standing front and center at attention in a single filed line.

 _”Prove to me why you deserve to be here.”_ Your final signal to them as a Captain. 

“To be a Scout is resigning yourself to death. Your mortality rate is one in a hundred, and even then, we can’t guarantee that if one-hundred of you leave, one will return. You will watch your friends, your squad, your captains, and your commanders die around you, or retire into a safer job. We will not baby you, we will not teach you how to kill a titan or hold you when you watch your friend ripped apart. So if you can’t handle this, leave now,” the Survey Corps Commander starts.

Many of the cadets around you start to shuffle off, so many of them leaving in silence as they quietly sneak off to their bunks to wait for the next round. You stand there, feet firmly rooted in the ground as you stare the Commander down, your squad next to you.

“But, I can promise you, each day will be more rewarding than the last. To save humanity from titan attacks and learn the truth to the titans, will be the singlehanded best achievement you will ever know. How can I assure you this? I can’t. But I have hope that there is a brighter future for humanity, I have hope that you will surpass your predecessors, that you will become humanities saviours. To be a Scout is resigning yourself to the freedom of humanity. To the freedom of the open-world beyond the walls and the fresh air in your lungs.”

Your heart hammers in your chest as you stay in salute, staring the Commander down as you wait for the other ball to drop. There has to be another part that he’s missing from the speech. People seem to think so as they shuffle away and the Commander continues as the only thought you can think is “Cowards”.

“I cannot guarantee you’ll even make it back from your first mission. However, I can guarantee you a bed to sleep in, a massive training course, and the fresh open air that horseback allows. We are so close to freedom, we are close to saving humanity-” the Commander finally meets your gaze as you realize your squad is one of the two left in the auditorium, as you realize your squad is the only one that doesn’t look scared shitless. “With your skills, there isn’t a chance we’ll lose.”

You smile up at him as he salutes the remaining soldiers left in the auditorium. Saluting him back.

“SIR YES SIR!” you and Levi shout up to him, the rest of your squad - and the other squad - copying you.

He grins.


End file.
